Just telling someone to relax doesn’t work. It seems to immediately put them in a state of trying to relax instead of being relaxed. So, I do not use that word in my practice. I may say other things to facilitate relaxing like; Breathe…Let me feel the full weight of your arm….allow yourself to let these muscles go limp.

I think the real issue is that we humans have a hard time relaxing. If you don’t believe it just look at a cat or a dog. They know how to relax and rest. Humans need to become more skilled at relaxing and resting. We all need rest. We need to restore our bodies to work, live and play another day. And yet here we all are on Facebook because amazing stuff is happening and we can’t pull ourselves away. We lose sleep playing games, worrying, reading blogs, keeping up with what all our friends had for dinner or what is going on in their lives and making sure we know what is going on in the world as if it matters to us.

I am actually on vacation. I haven’t been on Facebook hardly at all. I was surprised today when someone said wow you were in Vegas when Prince Harry was caught showing off his royal gems eh? I had no clue what they meant. It was okay. I am on vacation. I am trying my best to relax and rest. It is challenging.

When people go on vacation some of them, possibly most of them are not relaxing or resting. I have known this for some time because my clients go on vacations and seem to need more sessions when they return to help them recover from their vacation. They carry too much luggage, attempt great heroic athletic feats like sky diving, skiing, parasailing, go zip lining or decide to learn to surf in a weekend. Or they just run their feet off shopping, hiking or going about seeing all the sights. Vacations can be quite tiring.

I often encourage clients to get a massage while they are on vacation. They all act like they would be cheating on me by doing it. Or they come back and say they have to confess they got a massage on vacation. They always say it wasn’t the same or as good. Pshaw! I ask them if it was relaxing and if they enjoyed it. Of course it was. That is good. I tried that and got a bodywork session with my former instructor. It was not relaxing. It was enjoyable. I learned a lot and have a slew of new exercises and movements to do every day now. I am thrilled but, I kinda want to go to the spa now and have a relaxing massage.

Yesterday at the beach I was happy to sit and watch the ocean. I could have sat their for hours. My husband however had looked and saw that there was much more beach to explore in both directions. So of course we had to do just that. I am quite happy to sit in the room or by the pool and read. He wants to know what we are going to do or where shall we go next. This is most likely not unusual for people on vacation. They seem to have goals, agendas and schedules. Relaxing and resting needs to be free of goals, agendas and schedules.

People say they run or exercise to relax. Yoga and meditation is supposed to be relaxing. Neither are for the impatient and do require mastering some physical skills. I adore hiking and biking. I have said in the past that they are relaxing. Perhaps I got enjoyment and relaxing mixed up.

Even when we have our day or days off it seems we are spending it catching up with laundry, bills, cleaning etc. Not actually relaxing and resting. I cannot tell you how many times I have had someone tell me they took an extra day off and then explained they spent it painting, repairing, cleaning, shopping, gardening or catching up on some thing. Are we not making enough time in our lives to take care of things? Are we working too much or too hard? Or are we just not taking the time to relax and rest because we really do suck at it.

So forgive me but, I will be on vacation a bit longer. I am going to do my level best to practice more relaxing and resting. It may involve sitting on the beach for a while, reading, taking a nap and a long bath. What are you going to do to relax and rest this week?